Power Ranking The Guardians Game 3 Home Run Bat Flips Vs. The Yankees
So the Guardians stole Game 3 from Yankee Dave and the boys last night in dramatic fashion. 2 outs, no one on base, and a 2 run lead in the Bottom of the 9th with their closer on the bump? 99 times out of 100 that ends with a New York victory, but not last night. Last night, Lane Thomas doubled off the wall to keep the game alive. Then Jhonkensy Noel quite literally put the world's first ever baseball on the moon, tying the game and sending it to extras, where David Fry walked it off in the 10th with another home run. Cleveland hit three in total last night, and now the talk of the town is who had the best bat flip? Here are MY Power Rankings:
3. Kyle Manzardo
Not much of a bat flip at all, but still my Bronze Medalist because it got us on the scoreboard and gave Cleveland their first lead of the series. That was kinda fun while it lasted. I've been telling these Yankees fans on the stream that if we ever get to a situation where we get to go Smith, Herrin, Gaddis, Clase that they're in trouble. Well, I was wrong about that....actually, technically I wasn't. When we get to go Smith, Herrin, Gaddis, Clase....the Guardians win.
2. David Fry
You would think that a walk-off home run in extra innings against the Yankees, in which the hitter drops the bat and then no look steps out it like Iverson to Ty Lue would be higher ranked….
….but I can only call it as I see it. I'd like to see a little more pimping out of my guys when the game is officially over. There's no karma to be had later in the game if you end it yourself. I liked what Fry did with his lower half, but he could've gained some style points with me of a toss. Launch that bitch into the air and get some hang time, you earned it! Anyways, I'm probably being a little too hypocritical here. It was a very good bat flip. I actually thought this might go down as my favorite bat flip of all time, but then I remembered, it wasn't even the best bat flip of the entire game!
1. BIG MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS
That is hands down the most disrespectful bat flip I've ever seen in my entire life, and if we're in the trust tree right now, I jerked off to it last night before I went to bed. My evening routine was to eat 10 Peeps, chug a bottle of water, rub some ointment on the inside of my ear that Klemmer assaulted but Dave thinks is fair play, grab a box of tissues, and then let loose a load that could only be described in size by saying that I've been celibate for the last week, just had the best day of my life, and was turned the fuck on. And folks, it was Peeps yellow.
I don't know my favorite part about the bat flip. Part of me likes that it looks like it's all one motion. He knew it was gone from the second he hit it. But the other part of me loves that it keeps sliding over towards the Yankees dugout. Not only was he ripping their hearts out after what would've gone down as the best Yankee comeback in franchise history, but then he threw the bat over there to clean up. I hope the equipment guy has to go over to their dugout tonight and say, hey umm, did you guys accidentally pick up Big Christmas' bat? I think he left it over here after he launched one half way up the bleachers off your closer.
Anyways, that's how I'd rank them. Anyone see it differently?
Cleveland section of the Barstool Store starting to fill up: